


she looks like sex

by somepeoplearewild



Series: FUCK YOU SUCKER [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Demons, F/M, Humor, Kind of unrequited unresolved Stydia, Semi-public masturbation, Succubi & Incubi, background Jydia, background scallison, future murder couple, sexting (kind of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-10 23:18:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15959684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somepeoplearewild/pseuds/somepeoplearewild
Summary: Stiles. Lying. For 2,000 words straight.





	she looks like sex

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this is more verbal exposition than actual smut. That's why it's rated M and not E.
> 
> Also for context, this is set in 3A, but Jackson stays and Erica and Boyd aren't necessarily dead. I wrote the first part of this before I re-watched the show, so if there are any continuity errors, then fuck it w/e this is just self indulgent bullshit anyway
> 
> Also I wrote this by hand and then transcribed it on my phone later so forgive my dyslexic ass for any mistakes

“She’s your girlfriend?!” Scott yells, his voice cracking as it usually does when he gets stressed out.

 

Stiles gives him a deadpan look. “I don’t know what outcome you were expecting when you told me to date her.” 

 

“I told you to _ask her on a date_ , not to date her!”

 

“Well you got both. Congratulations, it’s twins,” Stiles replies, doing a half assed version of jazz hands.

 

“So what is she?” Scott asks, and ten years into their friendship, Stiles still isn’t sure if Scott has a natural immunity to his sarcasm or if everything just goes over his head.

 

“Succubus.” After a blank stare from Scott, Stiles elaborates. “Sex demon.”

 

As expected, Scott splutters and takes on, but at least he somewhat understands the gravity of the situation. Even if she does suck his dick, she’s still very, very dangerous.

 

Stiles did a little reading on succubi and incubi. Turns out they’re actually ruthless killing machines. They’re driven primarily by sexual desires and bloodlust, and it’s only a matter of time before Vanessa flies off the handle and succumbs fully to her primal, hedonistic nature. She’s got four, maybe five, years before all hell breaks loose, hell meaning the girl herself. Stiles can’t bring himself to be perturbed by this, and he really is curious to see what happens when that goes down, so, naturally, he lies his ass off.

 

“Yeah, I already did some digging, but all the sources are unreliable. Everything is written by hunters who obviously don’t want them to exist.” Which is not quite a lie, but not quite the truth. However, Stiles is fully aware of how easy it is to paint supernatural creature hunters in a bad light to a supernatural creature. Some hunters are actually quite level-headed— well, as level-headed as one can be when murder is their life’s work.

 

“Well, what did they say?”

 

“Evil this. Evil that. The whole rabid dog spiel from Gerard but modified for succubi and incubi.”

 

“Incubi?”

 

“Male sex demons.”

 

“Oh...” Scott pauses to think. “So is she bad?”

 

“She’s wicked,” Stiles grins dirtily, the corners of his mouth pulling down in a genuine smile at the appalled look in Scott’s face.

 

“You have to break up with her. We don’t know enou–“

 

“Are you gonna suck my dick, Scott?” Stiles interrupts.

 

His idiot friend blanks then practically shrieks, “What?!”

 

“I _said_ : Are. You. Gonna suck my dick. _Scott_.”

 

“NO, but–“

 

“Then shut the fuck up.”

 

Scott looks taken aback, so Stiles decides to reel it in a little bit. It’s just, he likes having his dick sucked. It’s the best feeling in the world besides, like, setting Peter on fire that one time. The adrenaline rush from that gave him spontaneous boners for like two weeks. Yeah, something definitely isn’t right with him, but Scott showed up that night with every intention of ripping Peter’s throat out, so who’s the real psychopath here?

 

“Look,” Stiles sighs, “I really like her— And she really likes me! Which is like a miracle because have you _seen_  her? So, let’s just see where this goes before jumping to any conclusions, okay?”

 

“But what if she tries to hurt you?”

 

“Your girlfriend’s family _literally_  hunted you. Like her whole family. Her dad shot you with a crossbow–“

 

“Before he knew who I was!”

 

“And then he tried to RUN YOU OVER.”

 

“Alright, alright,” Scott grumbles. “You made your point.”

 

“Cool, I asked her to sit with us at lunch. Be civil.”

 

••••

 

Stiles is having a hard time not grinning like the cat who caught the motherfucking canary as he walks into the caf with his arm around the hottest girl since Lydia Martin. Who is sitting at his and Scott’s lunch table beside Jackson and across from Allison, all three of them blatantly staring at Stiles and his new smokin’ hot girlfriend. Jackson with jealousy, Allison in confusion, and Lydia with something akin to alarm, her pretty pink lips parted in horror.

 

Stiles sits beside Scott, and Vanessa sits beside him, leaning around Stiles to smile at Scott.

 

“You’re the one who put him up to it,” she says in place of a greeting. Scott’s face blanches, and she laughs, sharp teeth glinting as she tips her head back slightly. “I’m not mad at you,” she smiles. “I’m thanking you... although, if you try anything like that on me again...”

 

Scott gulps and nods, Allison leaning around Scott and reaching across the table to offer Vanessa her hand. “I’m Allison.”

 

Vanessa returns the gesture, gripping Allison’s hand amicably as she replies, “Vanessa.”

 

“Fenske?” Lydia asks, suddenly snapping out of her terrified stupor.

 

Vanessa smiles tightly at her and nods. There’s definitely some history there. Lydia is looking at her like she’s Satan while Vanessa continues to grin, but it’s far less friendly than it has been and more.... angry. Again, Erica-esque without the underlying bitterness and residual insecurity.

 

“You two know each other?” Stiles asks, causing Lydia’s shoulders to tense as Vanessa’s smile shifts from angry to saccharine.

 

It is naught but a charade Stiles finds out as soon as she opens her mouth.

 

“Oh yeah. My mom and her dad used to fuck. Ya know, before her parents divorced and my mom died.”

 

Lydia, for the first time in history, buries her face in her hands in embarrassment rather than biting back. She flicks her bangs back, after she’s had a deep breath, and glares at Vanessa. Okay, maybe that wasn’t embarrassment like Stiles thought, but rather blood-boiling rage as evidenced by Lydia’s red face and bugged eyes. Crazy eyes. It’s equal parts scary and hot.

 

Vanessa remains unbothered with a smirk as Lydia’s shrill voice rings out. “Why are you enjoying this? It’s not fucking funny.”

 

“Oh, because your perfect little world fell apart because your dad couldn’t keep his five inch dick out of my mom?”

 

“Your mom started it!”

 

“My mom started a lot of shit with a lot of people. He could have said no.”

 

“Did you just admit your mom was a whore?” Jackson snickers into his fist.

 

“Nah, she didn’t get paid for it,” Vanessa replies smoothly. “Anyways, your dad’s out of the picture and my mom’s dead–“ Stiles mentally flinches at the her flippancy even though he knows the true circumstances of her mother’s ‘death.’ “–so it’s not a big deal.”

 

The table gets awkwardly quiet then, so Stiles of course jumps in in the most awkward, not-slick way possible. “Vanessa is my girlfriend.” He’s just trying to diffuse the situation. So what if he looks a little stupid? “She knows about all the not normal goings on of Beacon Hills, so you don’t have to hold back around her. I feel like we can trust her.”

 

“How long have you two been together?” Jackson asks skeptically.

 

“Since Saturday,” Vanessa answershonestly.

 

“This Saturday?” Allison asks in a surprised tone as Scott just lays his forehead on the table, ears red. “Like the day before yesterday?”

 

“Yeah but I’ve been courting her for like three weeks.”

 

“Unintentionally,” Vanessa adds just to embarrass him. She has a sadistic streak in her.

 

“Scott told me to ask her out,” Stiles explains, dropping the cool charade to somehow salvage their trust in his judgement.

Yes, he may have jumped the gun by instilling total confidence in a stranger, but they don’t need to know that. Besides, everyone loves Scott and trusts _his_  judgement, so Stiles is going to take full advantage of that by throwing Scott under the bus and telling a series of half truths.

 

“Because–!” Scott interjects in his own own defence, stopping short of telling the truth and outing Vanessa. Maybe he does have a brain cell after all. Just one though because he’s already got everyone looking athim curiously.

 

“He thought I was a werewolf,” Vanessa finishes for him, much to Scott’s and Stiles’ mutual chagrin. She either lacks a filter, or completely disregards his friends as threats, which even he’s not stupid enough to do and he _knows_  them.

 

“Are you?” Jackson asks, flashing wolfy blue murder eyes at Stiles’ girlfriend with a smirk. If Stiles didn’t know any better, he’d think Jackson was flirting with her. But Jackson values both of his testicles, right?

 

“No.” She doesn’t elaborate, clearly waiting for someone to ask her what she is because she loves the attention and apparently fears nothing.

 

“What are you then?” Lydia inquires in a tone a little less than friendly, a look on her face like she doesn’t have time for Vanessa’s theatrics.

 

“Succubus,” she answers simply, just like she had told Stiles she would. At least she’s consistent.

 

“So you’re a licentious termagant just like your mom?” Lydia immediately fires back at her, expression remaining stoic although he eyes widen just the slightest bit, letting Stiles know she most definitely did not mean to say that.

 

“Our mother was Adam’s first wife. Born not of his rib, but of the same soil. His equal. She has existed since creation. I’m _nothing_  compared to her. I’m not even a bacterium flagellating across her her skin, yet I’m ten times more powerful than anyone sitting at this table. I highly advise you to watch your mouth if you ever have the displeasure of coming face to face with her.” Vanessa’s scary ass stare breaks slightly into something more human as she tacks on, “I mean, you probably won’t, but I wouldn’t risk it anyway. She’s already not fond of your family.”

 

“Was that a threat?” Jackson asks, sitting forward in his chair as if he’s actually going to throw down with a five-foot-seven girl in the middle of their high school’s cafeteria.

 

“No,” Vanessa adds in an eerily soft voice, eyes looking unfocused at the wall over his shoulder. “It was a warning. Take it from someone who’s seen what she can do.”

 

“And you trust her?!” Scott shrieks at Stiles then, effectively breaking the tension.

 

••••

 

Stiles startled as the door to his Jeep suddenly swings open and a body fills the seat beside him. He’s fully expecting it to be one of the wolves, but it’s not.

 

It’s Lydia.

 

She’s staring at the dashboard, clearly choosing her words before she turns to him with a grave look on her face.

 

“I didn’t want to say anything during lunch because I know would have come off as some weird, jealous bitch but, Stiles, you have to listen to me. When _she_  came over—“ Stiles doesn’t appreciate the venomous way Lydia says ‘she’, referring to Vanessa yet refusing to say her name. “— I was filled with so much negative energy that it felt like I couldn’t even breathe.”

 

Stiles opens his mouth, but she shuts him up before he can make a sound.

 

“No, Stiles, _listen_  to me! ... I didn’t even know who she was. I just knew something was wrong. Really, really wrong. You’ve all been telling me to stop fighting it— this thing that I have— so now I’m telling you something is very, very wrong with her, Stiles.”

 

Lydia’s voice becomes more and more desperate as she talks, until she’s begging him to stay away from her. But she doesn’t understand. And Scott doesn’t understand. And even _he_  doesn’t understand, so until he does, he refuses to write Vanessa off as some evil temptress or whatever they think she is. Besides, when has the textbook description of a supernatural creature ever been accurate before this?

 

Never.

 

That’s when.

 

“Thanks for the concern, but you know me, Lydia. I can’t leave well enough alone. Curiosity killed the cat and all that.”

 

Lydia’s lips part to release a shaky breath, green eyes boring into his. “But what if it kills you?”

 

••••

 

Stiles gets out of his Jeep where he’s parked it closer to the lacrosse field. Before practise, he always moves it because He usually feels like such exhausted garbage afterwards that an extra five minutes on the walk back to the main parking lot feels like fucking torture.

 

His phone pings with a text as soon as he enters the locker room. Normally, he wouldn’t risk the extra minute to answer a text because being late to practise is basically asking coach to publicly humiliate him on top of the fact that he’s not even that good of a player and, as a result, is completely disposable to the team.That he makes tryouts every year is a mystery to everyone.

 

But it’s Vanessa, so he opens it. And immediately proceeds to choke on his own spit.

 

Isaac and Scott look at each other and then back to him, confusion evident on their faces.

 

“What is it?” Scott asks urgently, going into his pseudo-alpha mode.

 

“Noth-ing...” Stiles squeezes out between coughs. He’s clutching his phone, screen pressed against his chest, and that for some reason registers in Isaac’s mind as ‘I want you to forcibly take it from me.’

 

Isaac, the bastard, swipes the phone out of Stiles’ grip before he can blink, eyes bulging out as he tosses it to Scott like a hot potato. And Scott, an actual potato, yells “HOLY SHIT!” when he looks at the screen, successfully garnering the attention of every other person in the locker room. Most of the guys look away after a couple seconds, but Jackson and Danny come over because Jackson is nosey and a _bitch_.

 

“What are you losers yelling about?”

 

“Nothing,” Stiles repeats, snatching his phone from Scott whose face is as red as a tomato. He shoots Isaac a dirty glare, locking his phone before Jackson gets the same idea.

 

“Are they... real?” Isaac asks, eyes now settled into a dreamy daze. “I’ve never seen ‘pretty’ nipples before, but hers were... magnificent...”

 

Stiles starts throwing off his clothes in a haste to get ready, pointedly ignoring Isaac and also Jackson’s dumb fucking impish grin.

 

“Oh, I _have_  to see it now. Fork over the phone, Stilinski.”

 

Stiles pulls his mesh scrimmage vest over his t-shirt, pausing to give Jackson a murderous glare. “I will put wolfsbane in your hair gel. Don’t test me.”

 

Danny doesn’t even bother to suppress his smirk as he guides Jackson out of the locker room before anything can start.

 

“Way to go, Scott. Now everyone knows about my girlfriend’s nipples.”

 

Scott, still blushing, stumbles over his words in his haste to defend himself. “Wha– I– But– Isaac said it!”

 

“Can you guys just— give me a minute?” Stiles replies tersely. “Tell coach I’ll be out in a second.”

 

“Are you gonna jack your ween?” Isaac smirks, earning a disgusted noise from Scott.

 

“ _NO_ , now get the fuck away from me.”

 

••••

 

Stiles leans back against the door in the bathroom stall, furiously stripping his dick.

 

He has his phone in his other hand, flicking through the series of obscene pictures Vanessa has sent him. A series of her in her bed in various positions doing various things while absolutely one hundred percent completely ass fucking naked. He’d replied “oh my fucking god” to the first one which translated to her as ‘send me more’.

 

The people in his life are trash at reading him. But he’s definitely not complaining this time as a video comes in and he hits play.

 

It’s just her face. She’s lying in her bed on her stomach, flushed cheek pressed against her grey sheets, and a filthy smile playing on her lips before her eyes roll to the back of her head and she gasps.

 

Stiles can _feel_  his eyes dilate, sucking in a breath as he realised what she’s doing. The video cuts off after that, but it’s immediately followed by another one, which he clicks as fast as he can. It picks up where the other one left off, Vanessa’s plump bottom lip catching between her teeth as her eyes fall shut and she whines.

 

“ _Oh my god, Stiles_ ,” she gasps before loaning high and long, the camera shaking in her grasp as she comes.

 

Stiles is right there behind her, using his hand with the phone to brace himself against the wall of the stall as his dick shoots cum so hard his whole body convulses and his misses the toilet completely, semen splattering on the floor in front of him.

 

When he finally ( _finally_ ) makes it onto the field, coach chews him out as anticipated while Isaac watches then with an infuriating twist at the corner of his stupid smug lips. Scott, on the other hand, just shakes his head and keeps doing what he’s doing.


End file.
